The Black Kitsune
by Kuro-shiro-neko
Summary: Shippo meets a young kitsune in a forest. It's a girl. Younger than him. Figure it out. Read and Review Please? [DISCONTINUED]
1. Enter, the kit

The Black Kistune  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of it's characters . . .darn it . . .  
  
CluehunterC did review this fic.  
  
Dawn broke as Inuyasha's gang moved out of the village to wander around for a Shikon shard. ~*~*~  
  
Shippo looked up into Kagome's, his adoptive mother, eyes.  
  
"Okaa-san?" Shippo asked.  
  
"Yes, Shippo-chan?" Kagome smiled at her 'pup'.  
  
"Let's eat soon! Onegai?" Shippo asked.  
  
Kagome looked up at the sky. It was nearly afternoon.  
  
"Sure, Shippo-chan." Kagome said and smiled. "Inuyasha! Were stopping! Shippo wants to eat!" Kagome yelled to Inuyasha, who was a few meters ahead.  
  
"No, were not1 I don't wanna stop jus' 'cause that little-" Inuyasha began, until . . .  
  
"Ramen anyone?" Kagome called. She pulled out about 7 ramen cups.  
  
"Me!" yelled Inuyasha, who immediately grabbed a pot (A/N: From goodness knows where. What else does Kagome have in that backpack? Anyway pot= boiling water) and ran to the river they had just passed, faster than you could say 'Kaze no Kizu!' Miroku and Sango blinked after him before sitting down.  
  
"Don't worry. You get used to that. Usually, if the ramen doesn't work, the 'sit' will." Kagome said. A loud thump and a string of sailor talk could be heard from the general direction of the river. Everyone looked at Kagome. She, after hearing the thump, had put on a feral sadistic looking face, and EVERYONE backed off.  
  
"Okaa-san? May I go, umm, play? In the forest?" Shippo asked tentatively.  
  
"Yes, sure. Take Kirara to guard you, okay?" Kagome said, losing the dangerous look, but still having a malicious glint in her eyes. Shippo nodded. 'Gosh, Okaa-san can be very scary when her sadistic streak comes into view . . .'  
  
"Kagome . . . Should you really . . .?" Sango began, but immediately turned and smacked Miroku with the Hirokoitsu (A/N: spelling?).  
  
"You hentai monk!! Can't you stop that for 5 minutes, at least!" Sango exclaimed.  
  
"What?" Miroku asked, almost innocently, except we ALL know he isn't. (Miroku: What do ya mean? I didn't do a thing! [Gropes Sango]*smack*)  
  
Kagome, Sango, and all you readers rolled their eyes and sighed. Even Inuyasha, who had come back with the water, crossed his arms and shook his head.  
  
"Pervert." He muttered.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Shippo walked through a field. Suddenly, he stepped on Myouga, but that has nothing to do with our story. Also, for those who care, Myouga is fine. Suddenly, Shippo smelled something. "Hey! That smells like kitsune!" Shippo exclaimed, and at that moment . . .  
  
WHAM!!!  
  
Shippo and another object slammed into each other. Shippo looked up . . . into the very big, blue eyes of a girl.  
  
"EEEPPP!!" both Shippo and the girl exclaimed.  
  
Shippo leapt back and eyed the girl warily, who looked afraid and inquisitive. Then, she sniffed the air.  
  
"KITSUNE-FRIEND!!!!!!!!!" The girl yelled into the air and bulldozed Shippo.  
  
"Huh? Hey! You're the kitsune! Cool!" Shippo exclaimed. Upon examining the girl as best he could, because he was trapped under her, results of the bulldozing. (Not anything else ya pervs!) Shippo saw that she had bright blue eyes, pale skin and her tail and hair were pitch black. She looked about a year younger than him.  
  
"Hi! What is . . . your . . . name?" She said this haltingly, as if words didn't come naturally to her.  
  
"I'm Shippo. What's your name?" Shippo asked. The girl smiled, opened her mouth to speak and said . . . " I don't know!" She cried and giggled. Shippo did the anime faint. Even Kirara sweat dropped.  
  
"Hello cute kitty!" The girl found Kirara and began to pet her. Kirara purred.  
  
"Hey! Why don't you see my okaa-san!" Shippo said, smiling widely.  
  
"Okay!" the girl said . . .  
  
And then they both tripped over each other because they forgot to untangle themselves from the previous bulldozing. (A/N: Don't ask me how Shippo still managed the faint, he just did.)  
  
"Gomen nasai!!" they both yelped.  
  
~_~_~_~_~  
  
A/N: Okay. How was that? This is my bad attempt at humor but please read and review.  
  
Okaa-san: mother  
  
Gomen nasai: I'm very sorry  
  
Hentai: pervert  
  
Onegai: please  
  
Kitsune: Whatever Shippo and the girl are, but I think direct translation leads to 'fox'.  
  
Hirokoitsu: Sango's weapon. It's the big boomerang thingy. I can't spell it though... 


	2. The kit meets the group

The Black Kitsune  
  
Chapter 2  
  
~*~*~  
  
Shippo turned to the kit and said, "Wanna race?" The kit understood this and began jumping up and down and yipping. *Sweat drop* "O.k., then. Um, Kirara! Would you draw a line?" Kirara did that and they all lined up. "Ready! Set! GO!" All three of the small youkai sped like bullets on all fours. Kirara was the fastest and soon sped out of sight, leaving the kit and Shippo in her dust. *Pause* Cough, cough, hack, hack!  
  
"Kirara!"  
  
"Kiwawa!" *Sweat drop from Shippo and Kirara, though you couldn't see her*  
  
*Resume* Anyway, Shippo and the kit ran the rest of the way. Shippo was quite ahead of the kit. The kit was enjoying the run, so she didn't mind. Suddenly, a horrible smell reached Shippo's nose. 'It can't be! Why would he be here!' He came into view and ran at them. Shippo stopped and held his nose, then looked back at the kit, who had also stopped and held her nose. He came closer. He was . . .  
  
"INUYASHA!" Shippo cried. "Get away! Shoo! Bad dog!" Shippo said, whipping out a broom and bashing at Inuyasha. Inuyasha whined and grabbed the kit; who yelped.  
  
"Brat I was just saving you from this, umm . . ." Upon closer inspection and a few sniffs, "Girl! AAHH!" Inuyasha sped up a tree.  
  
"Oh! So THAT'S why you are afraid of Kagome!" Shippo yelled, sprawled on the ground laughing.  
  
"Hey! You promised you would-!" Inuyasha began, but . . .  
  
"You're afraid of me?" Kagome said as she walked into the clearing. "Why didn't you ever say so?"  
  
"Oh, Kagome! It's not that I'm afraid of you! Its, just, I'm afraid of falling in love with you! I didn't want to hurt you, like I did Kikyo! But, I failed. I love you!" Inuyasha cried out.  
  
"Oh, Inuyasha! I love you too!" Kagome said. Their faces near each other, and then . . .  
  
"EEWW! Yuck!" The two cubs yelled.  
  
Shippo: "Can't you get a room!"  
  
Kitsune girl: "Eww?"  
  
Inuyasha: "Shut up! We were having an adult moment, brat!"  
  
Kagome: "Geez! Will you both act your age!"  
  
Shippo: "I am acting my age! Inuyasha is the one who needs to act more grownup! Since, obviously, acting is all he can do!"  
  
Sango, Miroku and Kirara, who just happened to step in: *Sweat drop*  
  
Sango, Miroku and Kirara's POV: Inuyasha yelling at Shippo while holding Kagome n his arms with Kagome blushing. A black fur ball is hanging on to Shippo. The following ensues:  
  
Sango jumps Inuyasha, screaming, "Pervert! Get your hands off of Kagome!" Miroku advances the black fur ball and pokes it with the staff. It quivers and 2 blue eyes appear. No one notices, but Naraku is on the scene with a plan to kill the group. He sees all the above happenings and decides to come back later, because that huge growing sweat drop weighed down his head. Even Miroku and Kagome developed one when they saw the hole that had previously been Inuyasha. Inuyasha scrambled out of the hole looking the worst for wear.  
  
"Ow! Can't a guy admit his love without dying so soon!" Inuyasha said. Sango went girly.  
  
"OOOHHH! A wedding is needed! Many flowers, balloons, cakes!" Sango went on and on. Sweat drops grew.  
  
"Uh, Sango? We're not going to get married so soon, are we?" Kagome asked. Sango nodded so hard that the rest of the group proceeded to bring out Kagome sewing box and medical supplies, in case her head fell off.  
  
"OKAY! LET'S GO!" Sango said and grabbed all the grownups (including Inuyasha) and sped off.  
  
"Oh, man! Here we go again." Shippo said. The kitsune girl looked around noticing the land that was suddenly devoid of people.  
  
"Eh? Shippo . . . what hap . . . happen . . . to . . . meanies?" The girl asked.  
  
"Oh, they just went to do adult/girlie stuff. Blech!" Shippo said. "Oh yeah! That girl with the black hair was my mother. I think Inuyasha, the white haired guy, will be my dad." Shippo pondered this and shuddered. The kit nodded in understanding. "Right, lets go to the camp, okay?" The kit nodded.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"We're here! This is the camp we are staying at. I'm going to get us some food. Stay here." Shippo said, and headed in the direction of the stream. The kit looked around. She saw a big bulky yellow thing. (A/N: -_- my, my, what can that be?) She was hungry and decided to look in it. The kit jumped on to the thing and found a flap. After fumbling with the odd latch thing for 5 minutes, she finally worked it and stuck her head in it. She confirmed this was a bag. (A/N: Dun dun DUN!) She pulled out a rectangular thing. It fell from her grasp and landed on the ground, where it opened and flapped what looked like cut pieces of scrolls. The kit went into battle stance, expecting a giant monster to pop out. When nothing happened, she went over and picked the book up. It was full of writing she couldn't read, and numbers. ' 46x(5-x)(3-x)? EH?' The kit decided figuring it out was useless so tried to see if she could eat it. 'Useless. No taste good!' she thought. She was about to take it out when . . .  
  
"Eeep! Inuyasha! That youkai is eating my math book! Take it away, TAKE IT AWAY!" The kit looked over to see the strangely dressed girl. She blinked when the white haired man stood in front of her. She removed the book, stood up and pointed at him.  
  
"I- Inu- Inuyasa."She said, fumbling with the name.  
  
"No, it's Inuyasha. What are you doing here? You come to steal the Shikon shards? Eh?"  
  
"Daddy."  
  
"Eh??!! What the heck!" Just then Shippo came in the scene. The kit looked at him and yipped excitedly, because Shippo had 2 fish in his hand. Then, Sango walked up to the kit.  
  
"Oh, how adorable. Inuyasha, she called you 'Daddy'." Sango said.  
  
" Mommy?" The kit said unsurely. There were 2 black haired girls here.  
  
"No, silly. That girl is. She is Kagome, my mommy." Shippo said. The kit nodded and walked over to Kagome. The kit immediately latched on to Kagome's leg. Kagome lost her balance for a minute, but Inuyasha helped her.  
  
"Okaa-san. Otou-san. I love Mommy and Daddy." (A/N: Aaaaaaawwwwwww! ^_^) The kit said. Kagome and Inuyasha were speechless. Shippo quickly jumped in.  
  
" I told her that you were my mommy and that you were my daddy and that you, Okaa-san, would name her. Therefore adopting her." Shippo said, and grinned wildly.  
  
"Er, okay......... How's Kirei?" Kagome said.  
  
" I am Kirei? I like!" Kirei smiled.  
  
(*Deep voice*: AND SO ENTERS KIREI, THE BLACK KITSUNE! *dun dun dun*)  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
You likes? Yes? No? Maybe so? Err......... ignore that last part. R & R please! ARIGATO! ^_^ 


	3. This is so pointless Filler

Hey! Did you miss me! I love you guys! You really liked it! *cries* OH MY GAWD, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! *sniffle* I'm OK.. *glomp* I love you all! *suffocates readers* What have I done! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Giant mallet comes from nowhere) *WHAM!* I'm Ok.*fall*  
  
Recorded voice- I do not own Inuyasha or comp. But that will ALL change. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA.BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *COUGH HACK*! Ouch.  
  
The Dark Kitsune  
  
Chapter 3  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The group walked along in the forest. Kirei and Shippo were playing on Kirara, having a lot of healthy wholesome fun, but learning at the same time from Kirara.  
  
"So.Kiwawa-sensei, if.Miwoku.touches.Sango, we mutilate him, right?" Kirei asked, grinning. Shippo grew a sweat drop at the sudden boost in her vocabulary and change in the halted speech.  
  
"Mew."  
  
"OK!" Kirei said. All of the sudden.  
  
"AIIEEEEEEEE!" Sango screamed. Everybody looked at Miroku. He grew nervous.  
  
"It wasn't me! I swe-" Miroku said, when suddenly Kirei jumped out and bit his leg. "AH! GIANT FLEA! (SWEAT DROP) GETITOFFGETITOFFGET IT OFF!" Everyone sweatdropped. Kirara started looking in the other direction, thinking ' Oh what a lovely blade of grass'. Shippo followed suit.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Later, Kagome stitched Miroku's leg back on. The whole time, he had a cross and holy water in his hand, watching Kirei. Kirara was explaining to her that she needed to go easy on him. 'After all, he's just a human.' Kirara said. "Oh." Kirei said. 'But Sango looked really proud of me.' Kirei thought. Then, Sango picked her up and sat her on her lap.  
  
"Hey, Kirei. How are you? Are you hungry? I have some candy here you might like? Or maybe a massage? Or maybe these adoption papers, so you can become my daughter/guard dog? Then again, you may be tired so you can rest." Sango said, over sweetly. She then started petting Kirei. She was giving Miroku a triumphant/malicious stare. Sango took out a piece of paper. She wrote down something and then passed it to Miroku, smiling kindly.  
  
'Maybe she's going to say sorry, and that she'll kill that thing, and that she loves me!' Miroku thought as he opened the paper. 'Hmmm. Dear Miroku. It started with dear! YAY! Ahem.  
  
Dear Miroku.  
  
NEXT TIME EXPECT NO MERCY. I'll be telling her to aim a bit north, and it won't be just a leg you'll be missing! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
~Your dearest Sango.'  
  
Miroku grew cold as the most peculiar feeling washed over him. He looked over to Sango, She was grinning at him, and at that moment a lightning bolt flashed in the sky, illuminating her features. Miroku gulped and squeaked, "Yes ma'am."  
  
Immediately, the sky cleared and her face went back to normal. "That's nice." Inuyasha and Kagome, who had been watching the exchange, promptly backed away from both of them. Kirei, who had woken up, looked at Sango. She hopped off and went to Shippo, who comforted her. Kirara also went to comfort Kirei.  
  
"Well, then, shall we go to the next village then?" Kagome said. Little did the group know, that for miles around, all the groping perverts felt a chill going up their body. Naraku, once again, had been hiding himself behind a tree near Sango and Miroku and had been planning to take both of them out. He was frozen in his tracks. 'Such power..' He thought.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Gawd, that was pointless. There really was no point! I just felt like writing that. Maybe this way, Miroku will ask to marry Sango, instead of feeling her up. Good idea! *pats self on back*  
  
The next chapter may actually have a point. Or not. Who knows? Oh well. If everybody seems OOC here, I did that on purpose. Lol. 


	4. Enter Sess and lots of fluff!

The Black Kitsune  
  
Chapter 4  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The group walked on towards the nearest village. They stopped at a tree to rest. A little bit on the way there, Miroku got feverish. This was noticed on account that he asked a tree for directions and called an attacking youkai a 'pretty nurse', which promptly scared it away. Other than that, nothing happened. (Wow, I could die from all the excitement there!)  
  
Kirei was walking along a path when she saw something. She walked up to it and saw a youkai standing in the middle. 'Hey! She looks like Inu-tou-san! (sweatdrop)' she thought, and walked up to her. 'But she doesn't smell like Inu-tou-san...' She spoke up, loudly, "Hey miss pretty lady~y! Who are you?" The woman looked at Kirei, surprise then anger on her beautiful face. (Or so Kirei thought, until...)  
  
"What did you call me?!" HE said. 'OH! She's a he!' Kirei thought.  
  
"Sorry, MR. Lady!" *SMILE* Kirei barked out politely. (Or so she thought... ^-^) The man-woman popped a vein in his forehead. His eyes grew red.  
  
"I am Sesshomaru-sama, lord of the Western Lands! How dare you-" Sesshomaru- sama growled, but was cut off when Kirei promptly jumped on his shoulder and played with his hair.  
  
"Wow! You're hair is really soft! I LUV it! Mmm..." Kirei buried her face into his hair. Sesshomaru blushed and looked over at her. He calmed down enough to assess her. ' Kitsune, pup, female, although anyone could have noticed that.' He sniffed his surroundings. 'No parents. I smell my idiot brother on her though.' He wondered what Inuyasha might be doing with a pup like Kirei. With all his kind and loving thoughts towards is brother, Sesshomaru grew sick when he thought of the possibilities Inuyasha MIGHT use a pup for. 'Ew...Ugg.... NO! BAD HEAD! BAD HEAD!' Sesshomaru was so deep in thought; he didn't notice Kirei was braiding his hair. He looked at her. He thought he might wait to see what else she would do, and see if he could use this info to better bring up Rin.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Inuyasha and company decides at that precise moment to become worried about Kirei and go find her. All of the sudden, Inuyasha catches a scent on the wind. 'What the...' "Hey! I smell food!" (Everyone 'anime' faints.) Kagome walks up and smacks Inuyasha.  
  
"We're supposed to be looking for Kirei!" Kagome yelled. Inuyasha cowered before her. Is eyes watered VERY pathetically. (Of course, at this time, he was faking) "Oh, I'm sorry Inuyasha!" She hugged him kindly. His eyes widened. He brought up his arms and hugged her.  
  
"Oh Kagome! I love you! I swear! I'll protect you! I also promise to never trick you into going nice and soft on me like I just did ever again!" Inuyasha declared. All of the sudden, he felt very cold. He thought the feeling could be described as having massive amounts of people giving him a threatening stare. Inuyasha looked around, but only saw Kagome, Miroku, and Sango (Shippo and Kirara were off playing, though they suddenly looked in the groups general direction and prayed for the person who was going to hurt tomorrow morning.) and Miroku and Sango were busy listening. (And Sango hit Miroku an the head.) Inuyasha decided it was Kagome who was doing the glaring. 'How could one human pack such hate into a single glare?' He almost wet his pants, except that would thoroughly embarrass him in this fic. "Uh... Kagome?"  
  
"Inuyasha, the forever tactless one." Miroku sighed. Sango nodded.  
  
"TRICK ME INTO GOING NICE AND SOFT ON YOU, EH?" Kagome gritted out, a forced smile on her face. Her voice sounded awfully like the wicked witch of the west and two giant pieces of rough metal grinding into each other put together. "I'LL SHOW YOU SOFT!" *censored scene*  
  
Miroku & Sango: "Ooh . . . Ow . . . E- OOHH! Ohhh . . . Eee-ewww . . . That's gonna hurt! Oh . . . Argh-ow-eeee! Ee-ahh! . . . Oooo . . .ugh . . . I'm gonna be sick (-Sango) . . . Does that even bend that way?! Ergh . . ."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
After that scene, the group comes upon Sesshomaru and Kirei. Kirei is making dreadlocks and Sesshomaru is talking about financial problems at his castle. (What? I need my money too! - Sess.) Inuyasha is walking (AN-WOW. I didn't know he'd be able to WALK after THAT) with crutches. He sees Sess and Kirei. He faints. "Uh-oh. I think he broke something else. Maybe his brain fried too." Kagome commented. Sess sees them. He quickly grabbed Kirei, put her down, whispered something into her ear, and flew off. "Kirei! What did he say to you?" Kagome called, running towards Kirei and checking for injuries. (Inuyasha- Worry about me, will ya?!)  
  
"He said, come visit sometime. I live in a big castle in my lands, due west of here." Kirei said." He was really nice." (O.o - Author, permanently scarred mode) In the background, we see Inuyasha fainting again. (Ouch)  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Later on, Shippo comes up to Kirei. "Hey, Kirei, will you come with me? I want to show you something." Shippo said. He smiled. Kirei smiled back and blinked her blue eyes. He slightly blushed. Shippo took her to a field. "Watch this field." In a little while, the moon came up and the field burst with light. Kirei gasped. "Moon flies. When they get hit with moonlight, they glow like a jewel." Shippo looked at Kirei. She laughed and giggled. Suddenly, Kirei jumped up and turned into a fox cub. She glided and pranced through the field, the moon lighting upon her black fur. She yipped an invitation to Shippo, who gladly yipped back. He turned into a fox (Kirei had taught him earlier) and joined in the dance in the moonlight.  
  
Finally, they tired out and lay in the middle of the field. They turned back into their humanoid selves and snuggled close. Kirei opened her wide, contrasting eyes to Shippo. "Shippo?" "Nn?" "I love you!" She snuggled up more, giggling softly as Shippo's whole body went rigid and all his blood went to his face.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Crystal-chan- Well? What do you think for a fluffy scene? ^^ I luv writing this stuff! And before anyone tries to say anything about them being too young, they didn't do anything, and this is almost like a little crush, kay? Also, to all those die-hard Sesshomaru fans, I'M ONE TOO! But sacrifices must be mad for the sake of comedy. (I'm so sorry! *cries in front of a Sess statue*) OK, ttfn! (I'm going nuts, I swear I am!) 


	5. What does 'I love you' mean?

The Black Kitsune  
  
Chapter 5  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shippo ran towards the camp. He had Kirei on his back (he was in fox form). Kirei was deep in sleep. As Shippo made it into the camp he saw Kagome. He ran to her.  
  
"Okaa-san! Kirei said something strange!" Shippo said. Kagome went rigid.  
  
"Is she making fun of you? Is she saying mean things? Is she talking nonsense similar to what I'm doing right now?" Kagome blabbered. Shippo's train of thought: 'Is she ok? Let's see, no to both questions. I wonder... No, she wouldn't do that... Would she? Oh my gosh! She's-!'  
  
"Okaa-san! You went into overprotective mother mode! AAAHHHH!" Shippo blanched. Then he started thinking. "I wonder what it looks like when someone is blanching... What does that mean anyway?" Anywho, he went back to 'blanching'. Kagome gave him a strange look.  
  
"I'm not being overprotective, I'm being jus- WATCH OUT!" She grabbed him, did a triple roll into some bushes, and went into a fighting stance.  
  
"What! What is it?" Shippo yelled, thinking they were being under attack. Kirei, in the midst of this, had been forgotten. *poof* Shippo looked around.  
  
"Honey, that bug was going to get you, I know it!" Kagome said. She 'stealthily *twig cracks* walked over to the bug and smashed it. A small cry came from the bug.  
  
"Goodbye, cruel world!" And it died. All of the sudden, all the bugs in a mile radius came to the campsite, some of them falling into the fire. But who cares. They were crying and weeping. A big bug came to the front of the procession.  
  
"We gather here today to remember our fallen fellow insect. He is to be remembered as a friend, a husband, and a father." Here in the speech, another bug with little tiny bugs cry out. "Today let us honor the fallen, blah blah blah..." He went on and on, but this is the part in the story where everyone falls asleep goes somewhere else, or drops dead of boredom, whereas everyone else remembers Crystal-Chan can't write speeches. When the speech was done, everyone got angry that he should die, and attacked Kagome. It would be funny if I put down she was killed and the bugs turned this fic into a horror fic (gawd, I feel sadistic), but then, it destroy the point of the fic. (??? There was a point?)  
  
"Oh no! We have to find someway to help Okaa-san!" Shippo yelled to no one in particular, until Kirei arrived, the yellow backpack dragging easily behind her. Shippo gaped in amazement. "Even Inuyasha has some trouble lifting the bag! How can you do that!"  
  
Kirei shrugged. "Plot hole." She then proceeded to open the bag. There was lots of stuff in there.  
  
"Hmmm..." Shippo said. "I wonder if anything in here would help. Let's see, hairspray, perfume, spray able hair gel, a whole lot of spray stuff that could be potentially useful, arson, napalm, dynamite, whoopee cushion. Wait! That just may do it! It could be a bluff!" Shippo on all his grandeur, pulled out the whoopee cushion and sat on it with all his might. (Not that that's a whole lot.) The thing let one loose and all the bugs freaked out and left. Kagome was knocked out. "Oh no! How do I get her awake!" Kirei grinned.  
  
"Hi Inuyasha-otou-san!" Kirei called to the air. Kagome sat up with a jolt. She looked around, obviously confused.  
  
"Hey... Wasn't Inuyasha here?" Kagome asked Shippo. Shippo shook his head innocently.  
  
"Anyway, I was going to ask you, what to girls mean when they say, 'I love you'?" Shippo said. He had an idea, but, he wanted to confirm.  
  
"Who said that?" Kagome said, in a bit of shock.  
  
"Kirei did." Shippo said, and turned to face Kirei. She had *poofed* again. 'Dang, how does she do that?!'  
  
"Um... well...When a girl says I love you, it's um... She's sayin-" Kagome started but...  
  
"Shippo!" Miroku yelled. He charged in and abruptly sat down on a log and pulled Shippo beside him. "Shippo, its time you learnt about the birds and the bees, and take women wooing lessons from me!" (^-^) =Miroku. All of the sudden, Sango came into the picture. Both she and Kagome (who stood up) were fuming.  
  
"MIROKU!"  
  
Sango- How dare you grope me and then leave before I could clobber you!  
  
Kagome- Stop! He's only a kid! And don't you dare give him lecher lessons!  
  
Hearing this, Shippo blanched (again with the blanching) and took off.  
  
Sango/Kagome to Miroku- Now look what you did!  
  
Miroku- *sweat drop* Eh-heh...Lovely evening, eh?  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, I guess it was ok... I'm not sure I like this chapter. It would be really useful if any of you guys could come up with some funny scenarios I could put in. Don't mail them to me tho. I e-mail is dead. This would be really helpful. I'll mention you guys in the next chappie if I use your ideas, kk?  
  
~Crystal-Chan (2) -_- ~ 


	6. The Birds

**The Black Kitsune  
**  
Chapter 6  
..............................................................................................................................................................................................

Shippo walked through the forest, gazing at the sky. Flocks of birds flew overhead. Shippo watched them and sighed in content. 'Finally.... A peaceful moment.' Suddenly...  
  
(In the air)  
  
"Bomber one, this is Bomber two calling Bomber one... I have visuals on a target, I repeat I have visuals on a target over."  
  
"Roger that, Bomber two... I see him. All Bombers, bogey at 4:00, over."  
  
"Yes captain!" came the chorus of replies.  
  
"All right.... We're coming into range.... NOW! DIVE DIVE DIVE!!!" At this point in space and time, the entire overhead flying projectiles came falling to Earth. "We're closing in! Ready ammunition!" All tails go up.  
  
Narrator: This does not bode well for our young furred friend.  
  
(Back to Shippo)  
  
'Hmmm... Those look like pidgeons...'  
  
Narrator: If only the poor soul knew in time.  
  
'Wait, those aren't just PIDGEONS.... THOSE ARE-' "AAAHHH!!!** RATS WITH WINGS**!!!" Shippo cried, and began running for his life... Or at least his clothing.  
  
"BOMBS AWAY!!!" cried Bomber One. Shippo dodged all the pieces of white substance that were flying at him. He sighed, then laughed at them.  
  
"HA! You missed!"  
  
"We're out of ammo! Bring in TOP GUN!" squawked the leader. All of the sudden, an enormous seagull showed up.  
  
"**TOP GUN IS HERE**!!!" He said in a loud, obnoxious voice. Shippo's eyes all but bulged out of their sockets.  
  
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Shippo yelled. All of the sudden...  
  
"Kirei is here!" Kirei jumped in front of him. "Run, Shippo-chan! Run for your life!" they started to run, while Bomber one called for reinforcements.  
  
"Calling all units! Calling all units! We have code purple hue! I repeat: CODE PURPLE HUE!" He yelled.  
  
A thousand voices saying "Roger that, Captain!" came, as thousands of more birds arrived.  
  
**Meanwhile  
**  
"Inuyasha? I was wondering of you knew where Shippo is?" Kagome asked, worried for her son.  
  
"Uh... yeah, he said he was going to take a walk. Why?" Inuyasha returned, looking thoroughly confused. Kagome gave him a wry look.  
  
"Gee... I don't know... maybe because he's missing lunch AND has been gone on for thirty minutes without food?" Kagome said. Inuyasha looked at her in amazement. "Furthermore, I brought chocolate and he knew it." Inuyasha looked scared.  
  
"I think that we may have to fear for his life if he's missing out on all that!" He grew serious. "But I don't sense Naraku or any of his counterparts here." Inuyasha continued to think (_OMG_! That's something you don't see everyday!) when Sango and Miroku decided to make themselves known.  
  
Suddenly a spotlight and a mike pop up in the middle of camp. Miroku walks up to it. He grabs the mike and looks at everyone sullenly. He starts to cry.  
  
"I'M STILL HERE! How can you forget me?!" He throws down the mike in an overdramatic fit of tears and huddles into a denial cloud drawing circles into the ground. Everyone: sweat drop.  
  
Sango sighs and drags Miroku back. "Ahem. Anyway, I think you guys should stop being so worried. I'm sure he's fine. I mean, what's the worse that can happen? A flock of JAPANESE pigeons fly out of nowhere and bomb them with stuff?" Sango said, laughing at her own joke. Kagome laughed nervously in what was supposed to be in an agreeing manner. "And Miroku... How can anyone forget you?" Sango said kindly. Miroku looked at her with loving eyes.  
  
"Oh Sango... really?" Miroku said, his eyes starry. Sango nodded. Their faces drew closer... and closer... and then.... (rub rub)****  
  
**(glare)** Sango growled at Miroku. She stood up, her aura flaring around her. Seriously flaring. Flaming actually. In fact, that tree right next to her? It's gone. So is that one. "P- Perverted.... HOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !"  
  
Kagome sweat dropped. Inuyasha snorted. "You'd think the one chance he has to get with her, he wouldn't ruin it." Kagome grudgingly nodded. A slap and crash could be heard through out the forest, along with an inhuman cry of pain. (--"Yeah.... Ouchie...)  
  
Sango suddenly gasped and dramatically turned around. "Where's my guard dog!!! Oh no! Something terrible must have happened!" At the mention of her 'guard dog', Miroku promptly looks at his nether regions and faints. Sango, on the other hand, fails to notice and goes to find Kirei a.k.a. her guard dog. Kagome and Inuyasha reluctantly follow after her.  
  
**Back with Shippo and Kirei  
**  
"Oh.... I smell..." Shippo cried. He and Kirei were hiding behind a bolder in the middle of a field. They thought it was impassable. Kirei knelt down beside Shippo.  
  
"Don't worry Shippo-chan! Just hang on! I know you'll make it!" Kirei said, tears forming in her eyes. Shippo sweat dropped. 'So overly dramatic!' Suddenly, a bird screamed, "I found them! Bob, you owe me $10!" while another one groaned dejectedly. Shippo screamed. Kirei took a moment, and then screamed as well. They both took of rung. There was bird crap coming down right at their heels.  
  
Suddenly, they saw the forest. Kirei took some time to yell back, "You only walked for thirty minutes?!" Shippo blinked then laughed nervously.  
  
Kirei ran, heaving, almost to the forest. They ran, when suddenly Shippo tripped. Kirei cried out and ran back to him. (hear dramatic music in the background) "No! Go! Just leave me! I'm done for!" Kirei blinked.  
  
"...OK." And she ran back. Shippo gawked. Suddenly, Sango came bolting out of the forest.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Came her battle cry. (sweat drop) She grabbed Shippo and took him closer to the forest. Right before she reached the forest, she looked down to see that Kirei wasn't there. She yelled again, and then tossed Shippo behind and carved another path into the direction in the forest where Kirei was. In the distance, many a man can hear the erie words saying "GGGGGUUUUUAAAAARRRRRDDDDD DDDDDOOOOOGGGGG!!!" Meanwhile, Shippo was feeling quite rejected.  
  
"Shippo!! Are you OK?" Kagome called as soon as she spotted him. She ran over to his form on the ground. Suddenly the bird flock loomed over them. They cackled in delight. Kagome glared at them. "Are you trying to hurt my son?" She asked. All laughing stopped. One stupid bird (Author: Sigh, we call him Dopey. shakes head He always was a lost case...) cried out "DUH!". Kagome glared even harder. Her glare grew increasingly more terrifying. All of the sudden, the entire flock burst into flame and fell onto the ground. Kagome smirked, picked up Shippo and walked away. Inuyasha, the brave man, was hiding behind a tree the entire time. He quickly placed himself behind Kagome, saying how he was backing her up the entire time.  
  
**Meanwhile, at Naraku's castle  
**  
Naraku growled as he watched the following happenings within Kanna's mirror. 'Shoot. It didn't work. She truly is far too overprotective.' From behind him came a coughing noise. He saw Kagura, who was smirking triumphantly.  
  
"Well, Naraku-sama.... It didn't work." She held out her hand. He grumbled and handed her a $20. She laughed maniacally and pocketed the money.  
  
"I thought for sure making them pay extra for dry cleaning would break up their group!" Naraku said. Kanna simply nodded. "Well, next time I have an even more diabolic plan in store...." He said. "Mwahahaha...MWAHAHahahah... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- What's that noise?" Naraku said, cutting him self of. Suddenly, one of the shoji doors opened. In walked Kirei. She came in, shut the door behind her, hopped across the room, opened the other door, walked through, and then shut the door behind her. Naraku-gumi blinked. "What just happened?"  
  
"Ahem... If I may, my lord... Your impenetrable fortress has just been penetrated." Kagura said smugly. Naraku glared at her, when suddenly there came a rumbling sound, along with a type of screaming. Suddenly, the walls burst in as Sango, looking like a madwoman, ran in and out the way Kirei had gone.  
  
"GGGGGUUUUUAAAAARRRRRDDDDD DDDDDOOOOOGGGGG!!!!!" She yelled. When she left, Naraku's castle was demolished. (Naraku: (sobs))

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Crystal-Chan: Ok, I am SERIOUSLY running low on ideas, although I do have something for the next chapter. What I must tell you is that with this story, I don't plan. I get the general idea and _wing it_. So if it sucked, that's why. 


	7. DEAD

Hey, this is Kuro-shiro-neko, no longer Crystal-chan. After a brief rereading of this fic, I realized that, OMFG, it's awful. Are all my fics _this_ bad!I _did_ write it about 4 or 5 years ago, so it's being discontinued. I would like to thank those who kept up with it and lied to my face, saying it was great. Thanks! XP 

- Kuro-Shiro-Neko…. I think I'm going to shorten that name sooner or later….

BTW - If you like the idea to this story, go ahead. It's for sale. No, not even that. It's for free. Merry Christmas. Happy Birthday. Mozoltov, however you spell that.

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